The In-Between Of Motherhood

I sit in the sunshine in the early morning with a hot cup of coffee that stays hot for four minutes. I nurture the beat of my heart for ten seconds before it is consumed by giggles, laughter, and endless snacks. I seek out moments when I can be alone and then crave to be around my girls again. I make appointments and playdates. I schedule camps and sign up for after school activities. I make breakfast and lunch and dinner and then I do it all again and again. I wonder about what the future holds. I imagine a bigger home, a different view, new stuff. 

And then, I look down and my baby extends her hand into mine. All of that can wait for now. If only, just for now. 

During the 2026 Winter Olympic Games in Italy there was a comic created by Trevor Spalding of a swimmer on the starting block. The entire world is watching him, but he is standing calling out, “Mom, Mom, Watch Me!” (check it out, it’s quite good!)

While supposed to be a funny gag, this comic brings me to tears every time I see it. Motherhood is complex and overwhelming, but it is also not. 

Society wants us to believe that being busy all the time is valued and important, it shows you are successful and a hard worker. Our society values burnout, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. It wants you to get to the proverbial top by never stopping, never slowing down, and glancing over the in-between. 

This doesn’t work for the developing brain. Our children never stop wanting us to show up. They keep giving us chances hoping that one day, we will reach out and respond in a way that makes sense to them. While there is an entire industry teaching you the “right ways to parent” with literature and education and entire degree programs centered around this, most moments of connection happen when there is a sense of intuitive connection. 

Intuitive connection is something that can only be felt, it cannot be taught. You can learn the correct things to say, the developmentally appropriate words to use, the games to soften, the skills to co-regulate, but that moment of, “my mom gets me,” and “my mom loves me just the way I am,” are what parenting is truly all about. And luckily, anyone can do this.

In the therapy room, we learn that the therapeutic connection is paramount to any theory, lesson, or skill learned, and this is true in life also. 

You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to be around all of the time, you definitely do not need to know exactly what you are doing, but the willingness to be curious about your child’s life as independent from yours has the potential to be life-changing and life-forming for our youngest minds. 

Connection happens in the blink of an eye, just like most other things too. 

Be Well, My Friends.